panthera wrote:yes, the first thing that troubled me once I became vegan and wanted to spread veganism was that I felt that I had to proselytize and evangelize. Horrors. It did make me revisit my feelings toward evangelicals, who also operate out of a sense of compassion.
Faunus, I find that when I appeal to someone's innate decency, they talk forever about the need for humane farming. I can't seem to get past that. Perhaps I'm just not listening for long enough, and this needs to be an ongoing dialog?
Panthera, I don't think it is a matter of you not having good listening skills, but do think that ongoing dialogue can be quite productive. It has been with me, although getting people to go vegan seems to run in cycles.
One critical factor face to face with people is to engage them in a dialogue by asking them questions, and not just make AR statements that they cannot
yet relate to. People generally want to be able to talk about themselves, and many don't think that most people care who they are or what they think. I change that with a potential vegan by creating dialogue and by asking open-ended questions too. In context to conversations on cooking, "pets" (I hate that word), or any topic related to animals that can be a launching pad for AR discussion - I seize the opportunity. I've become skilled in manipulating or redirecting conversation topics too
. I will try to have them see that killing a chicken is just the same as killing a parrot, or killing a cow is just them same as killing their dog - and may have to ask why they see it differently. I am all ears. Most people simply do not have good rational answers and they know it! They get to confront
themselves during or after our conversations. If I confront, that often terminates our relationship. So if I do that I have to be clear that is what I want to do - and I have done it a few times.
Showing empathy is also important. I let people know that I was raised on meat, eggs, dairy too - and was only vegetarian for 42 years and not vegan. I will do what I can to not create an "us vs. them" dicotomy (vegan vs. omnivore) that is alienating. For the sake of wisdom, I look at past interactions that failed and try to understand why there were "conversation stoppers". Hey, I'm not perfect - but a lot more skilled, aware, and successful with getting people to put their defences down when the AR topic comes up by myself or them. And the past year has been really great with getting people to become vegan. I let them know I'm there to support them in any way I can to stay vegan. (Many of them have my home e-mail address, and I'm able to also send them some great web address like pcrm.org/ etc.). Providing support systems in the way they need it is something I try to accomodate, and that usually mean getting them info on health, recipes, vitamen B-12 and protein facts, etc. I've printed-off a list of other helpful web sites, including a list of local stores where they can shop for vegan food and shoes.
And by the way, I have relied on Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine so much that I sent them a donation January 1 and joined. I am getting really wonderful e-mails from them with info not included on their web site.
Faunus
